


to the tenacious

by wingsaloof



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsaloof/pseuds/wingsaloof
Summary: When drawn upwards, The Magician tarot card means power and resourcefulness. When reversed, though, it is nothing but manipulation, poor planning and untapped talents.Taichi feels like his life has been upside-down for a long time now.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27
Collections: A3 Tarot Zine





	to the tenacious

**Author's Note:**

> written for [a3! tarot zine](https://twitter.com/a3tarot) and thanks to its release date, its also an accidental taichi bday fic!

Taichi feels like his life has been upside-down for a long time now.

It’s not like he doesn’t try. Maybe he tries too hard, actually (he has heard this from a number of people before), but things seem to not want to come his way. It doesn’t matter what he’s talking about — school, love, popularity, skills — he never found significant success in any of these fronts.

Of course, that is the same for acting, he realizes one summer evening when he’s 15. He managed to get into GOD-za a few months ago, enough time for him to lose his starry-eyed self from sight. Just when he thought he had gotten his big break... The director may be harsh, but Taichi’s failures are all to blame on himself, he admits. While newbies might have a hard time under Reni Kamikizaka’s reign, it’s a great chance for them to learn discipline and build knowledge of different acting methods. They can watch top actors up-close and study under them to some extent, and helping backstage also gives them proper insight on what goes into making a successful stage play.

Unfortunately, no matter how many days Taichi stays behind to help after-hours, or how many dress rehearsals he sneaks into, things just don’t come his way. It’s been almost a year, which means he’s been at it for much longer than other skills he tried to pick, but he’s still watching from the wings.

So it’s obvious that when Reni reaches out to him, he grasps that chance as if it’s already a lead role.

* * *

Mankai Company is a little rundown theater almost at the end of Veludo Way. There is no shine; no silk curtains or golden marquees to marvel over, and Taichi finds a hole in one of the audience seats when he’s making his way to the stage. The most he can think of is that this is Tenma Sumeragi’s new endeavor — he can’t help but wonder how a nation-wide famous name ended in this deadbeat company of all places. 

The audition runs smoothly. Taichi can’t even joke this is the easiest character he’s ever played, not when he’s been doing this for all of his life. He laughs at Summer Troupe’s antics and gets them under his pretense fairly easily. Izumi is earnest in her tips, and practice feels light-years away from what he’s been going through at GOD-za. His fellow troupe members are a bit of a handful, but it’s hard to not get carried along when Banri and Juza start arguing. It’s hard to not smile and thank Omi for his cooking when he puts so much into the small details (his lunchbox today has a rendition of his favorite mascot). It’s hard to not flinch when Sakyo passes by Yuki’s room late at night and they have to pretend they’re asleep. It’s hard to not burst out laughing when his bickering with Tenma almost gives them away.

There’s the naked bonding, the portraits, the silly conversations about first love, the letters he assembles to shake everyone’s confidence (which finds little to no success). 

It’s hard to not pretend he’s welcome at Mankai Company.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that shredding the costumes apart is one of the most difficult tasks he’s ever been assigned.

He runs the scissors through Luciano’s suit with a feeling that he doesn’t want to name as regret. Lansky’s shirt is easy to rip through, and he does it with his bare hands. He doesn’t forget to leave yet another threatening message behind, tucked away in a pocket. Dewey and Capone’s costumes take a little longer than intended, thicker materials naturally giving him a harder time. His stare is blank as he looks down at the jacket in his hands. Yuki tasked him with sewing the police department-like patches into it; Taichi can’t remember how many times he pricked himself while doing it, but even Yuki recognized it was his better work so far.

He can’t stay any longer in here, so instead of using the scissors to pick each thread and pull them off one by one, he digs it into fake leather and rips it away.

And yet, somehow, (again,) none of that worked. Taichi should have known better, Mankai Company is a box full of surprises. Opening night is a blur, which allows him to pass off his behavior as simply being tired from all the action. His only option is to kick it up a notch, which he does — he knows where everything is, sneaking the props away is an easy feature. No one notices until it’s too late, and finally, he allows himself to take a deep breath. Though dedicated, the troupe is full of amateurs. There’s no way they won’t come unscathed out of this.

Except they do, curse their lucky stars, and each of Reni’s words on the phone feels like a knife stabbed into his back, his tone the firm grasp that twists it inside the wounds, stripping him from any place he could ever call ‘his’. Breaking the illusion of finding his own path. He bleeds inside out in a corner of the courtyard, and it shows; for one moment, he’s glad that his roommate catches him in the act.

When Omi and his warm hands embrace him, the dam breaks. Tears spill from his eyes like heavy rain, or rather, a downpour. The truth escapes from his mouth without a single thought, words muffled like a distant recording. Taichi doesn’t recognize the voice that comes out from his mouth — a loud wail, so high-pitched he can feel his throat ripping apart. It should be painful, he thinks, it  _ should _ , but the feeling of relief that washes over him is like anesthesia. Time passes slowly, but when he comes to himself again, his crying has been subsidized to sobbing and a runny nose. 

The feeling doesn’t make it any easier to confess it all over again to the rest of Autumn Troupe, though. He’s ready for the backslash — he deserves it, after all — but when Banri brings up the portraits, it’s actually a welcome surprise. 

So he takes another deep breath, head clearing up, and as if everything is getting in place, world turning on its axis and finally standing upright, he starts over again.

* * *

The adrenaline from the closing night rides on for a little longer than imagined. It allows him to stand proud as Banri and Juza face Reni, it gives him the strength to reinvent his character one last time, and it gives him enough courage to apologize to Yuki while making a declaration of rivalry towards Tenma. He’s biting more than he can chew, his conscience tells him, he’s getting too comfortable for the traitor he is.

But though his guilt might eat away at him as much as it wants to, each time he steps into the living room feels like being reborn over and over, small burdens being lifted from his chest and making way for new baggage. His new family fills it promptly with the smell of curry, the banter of roommates, and the greetings he receives when sitting at the table by their side. He feels their love and forgiveness through the head pats he receives, the incessant texting, and the many nicknames he amasses. It’s the most magical feeling in the world. It’s the morning after a nightmare he’s starting to forget. 

For the first time in years, Taichi Nanao feels right. 


End file.
